Marry me, I beg you
by Blair.The.Adorable
Summary: It's a story fashioned around Lily and James, their love life, and all the bumps in the road that can keep them from having this amazing life together that they crave.
1. Chapter 1 Not One, But Two Are Hurting

**1. Not One, But Two Are Hurting.**

_Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty-never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense._

_-Winston Churchill_

* * *

_Everything was dark. The edges of a nightstand were only visible by the moonlight filtering in from a large open balcony, allowing a small breeze to enter. Stepping towards the balcony and raising her hands to rest on the wooden paneling, arms snaked around her waist. Soft, slightly chapped, lips touched her cheek with an experienced ease. Sighing at the pleasure and delight the small action brought her, Lily turned to face the man who had gifted it to her, finding it to be just who she wished it was; James Potter…_

Lily shot up straight in her bed; sweat beaded on her forehead, dripping down her temples toward her cheeks and jaw. Her breathing was quick and shallow, her chest heaving as she worked to pull in more air.

"Sweet Merlin, Lils! Are you alright?" Lily's best friend Victoria questioned as she reached for the lamp. A good portion of the dormitory room was suddenly illuminated, revealing a rather concerned expression on the brunette's face. "Sweet Merlin, you're shaking…Want me to run for James?" She offered just before realizing James wouldn't be able to ascend into the Girls' Dorm.

Lily continued to breathe quickly, lifting a hand to her face where James had placed the kiss in her dream. She was shaking, but couldn't imagine why, at first. It dawned on her, after a moment, why such an inviting dream would leave her body quivering; James Potter had proven how much of an egotistical, unfeeling, uncaring, rude jerk he was. He had broken it off with her. Shaking her head no, Lily allowed some tears to well up in her eyes. It would have only been a little awkward to have had her once knight-in-shining armor, or Quidditch robes, come in to comfort her after being dumped by him.

"Please, don't get him, Tory," Lily managed to whisper. "He and I aren't together anymore." Her sentence ended as a deep sob erupted from her throat. 'Oh, why now?' Lily asked herself. 'I've refrained from this all day.'

Victoria climbed from her bed and sat down in from of the distraught red-head with worried eyes. "Oh, Lily. I'll get Lydia to help me make him sorry in front of everyone tomorrow." She had only had a moment to part her arms to give Lily a hug before the red head fell into them, tears and all.

"Please, don't, Tory," was all she said before allowing another rush of tears to fall from her eyes. It was a wonder that the other girls in the room hadn't woken yet. Wrapping her arms snugly around Lily, Victoria was unable to stop the onslaught of plausible pranks and horrible thoughts directed toward the heir to the Potter fortune. Some of the lighter thoughts involved the despair of Andrew and Yvonne Potter over how they would never be grandparents, but didn't entertain methods for pulling it off in case Lily and James reconciled.

It was around three minutes later when Lily's steady flow of tears began to lessen, then halt all together, if only for the moment. Her body had ceased shaking as much as it had been before and her breathing pattern began to regulate.

"Do you want to go to your dorm room?" Being Head Girl did not come without its perks. The Heads, both Boy and Girl, were given their own private Common Room with, much to Lily's delight, unlimited bookshelf space. There were also fairly large dormitory rooms, one for each of them with quite a bit of open space, along with beautifully furnished lavatories. It was enough to make most of the students sixth year and below stay in line so that their names might be taken into consideration for one of these top positions.

Lily didn't speak, something Victoria hoped would not become a norm for her best friend, and then felt a nod against her shoulder. "Alright, come on and stand up. No matter how much I love you, Lily, I'm not going to carry you there." Having figured that the Head Girl's had demands to stay the night in the same dormitory as she was because she hadn't wanted to be by herself, Victoria held no intention of leaving the girl alone, especially right then.

Soon, both girls were standing in their pajamas with their robes over them and Lily's uniform in hand. Twisting the knob on the lamp after picking up her wand from her bedside table and making sure that her vulnerable friend had her's, Victoria heard the knob click and watched as the light went out.

"Let's hurry on down to the Common Room. I hate the dark almost as much as I hate Ancient Runes," Victoria commented, trying to lighten the tension a little bit. "Let's go," she added. Opening the door with a _'creak,'_ Victoria started down the stairs, her wand at her side and her head turning back to check on the red head every few seconds to ensure she was following.

Once the pair had reached the landing, Lily stopped short when she caught sight of a group of mischievous seventh year boys trying to offer words of encouragement their friend, who had his head bent towards his knees with his fingers gripping the unruly black locks on his head. It sounded as if, by his breathing and the way his back was moving, he'd been crying much in the same way Lily had been no less than ten minutes earlier.

"I don't know why she did it…" The golden Potter Boy, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, most eligible bastard in Hogwarts sobbed. Hearing this caused Lily to gasp and slink down to the floorboards of the landing, eyes wide while an angry Victoria stood guard.

"Did what, oh perfect one?" Victoria questioned haughtily, her blue eyes narrowing dangerously at the four boys, but toward James in particular, glad that where Lily had fallen was not in plain view of them. All the eyes in the room turned to her, but the brunette did not back down. Her friend, almost sister, was hurting badly and this would not go unpunished.

"Piss off, you soddy bitch," Sirius Black started, already on his feet and trying to intimidate her with his superior height. It wasn't working the way he wanted it to, though.

"Sit your arse down, Black, and pretend you know what brain power or a night without a detention feels like," Victoria commanded of the well know disowned Black. Sirius eyed her for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out if she was serious or not, and while he was doing so, James stood.

"Is she okay?" His voice sounded about as hoarse as it did when he tried to speak right after a snog. Unsure of why he was asking this, seeing as how the perfect Potter boy had broken up with Lily, not the other way around, Victoria sneered at him, hoping her expression conveyed her newly found deeply rooted distaste for him.

"You don't deserve to know, Potter. Now, if you truly feel the way you are acting, you will take your leave from here and retreat up to the dormitory room that you four share so I can escort the Head Girl to her own." Her current demeanor, the one demanding respect, faltered as she caught a glimpse of Lily's pale and silently weeping form against the stone wall in her peripheral vision. She had to get her away from James, for it seemed Lily wasn't going to be able to take it much longer. Oh, her poor, poor friend.

"We'll leave," Remus announced, stunning the seemingly bewildered group. "Be quick about it, Victoria. You aren't the only one with a long and hectic night ahead of you," Remus finished with an empathetic tone and expression, earning him several severe glares and dangerous looks from his mates.

"Thank you for being the sane one right now, Lupin. Sanity is an improvement for the four of you." Leaving them with that insult, Victoria turned and took the two strides required of her to reach Lily's side and crouched down beside her, wrapping her supportive arms around the red head's diminutive figure.

"Fucking hag," Sirius muttered, resulting in a smack up-side the head by Peter, who had to stand on a chair to be able to do so.

"She's only protecting a hurt friend, Padfoot," Peter commented, but didn't say anymore, due to their best mate staring intently at the landing of the Girls' staircase where hic-up like sobs were sounding from.

"Come on, Prongs. Let Smyth get her down to her dorm so she can recover. You weren't the only one hurt, mate," Remus tried to convince James, but the advice was shrugged off and the subject advanced towards the staircase where an incoherent whisper was followed by a desperate "No, I can't!" A flustered Victoria reappeared, blocking his view of Lily and his ability to reach her.

"Leave her, Potter! You've done enough damage for today, and by talking to her right now you'll only make it worse. The hurt is still so fresh in both of your minds, so I'd have to say you need to back off and let the both of you begin to heal." Both of her arms were resting on either wall framing the landing, indicating she would not be easily moved. James sent her an evil glare and plowed into Victoria's shoulder with her own, sending her flying to the opposite side of the landing with a surprised expression on her face. His eyes darted about the landing and up the first couple of stairs, resting on Lily.

"Lily? Please speak to me." His voice was full of remorse as he took in the sight of his precious love. "I beg you, please." He waited only a second before parting his lips to speak again, but was cut off by two pairs of arms entangling around his chest and lower torso, pulling him away from the currently fragile red-headed beauty. "Let me speak with her, damn it! Let me go! Let me speak with her!" He demanded, beginning to go red in the face from yelling and his lungs being crushed by Sirius's firm hold.

Seeing a window of opportunity, Victoria took Lily's wrist in her hand and snatched up the spare uniform in the other. Standing and dragging her best friend up with her, Victoria dashed for the Portrait Hole that swung open for them, by which they exited the red and gold furnished Gryffindor Common Room.

Remus and Sirius' tight holds did not falter, even after the pair of girls had taken their leave. Their grip only broke when a defeated James slumped down to the floor, forcing his mates to let go of him. "I had to get her to talk to me. I couldn't leave it where I had….Where I let her let me leave it." James's eyes glazed over in a way that the boys had seen several times that night, but not once before then. James Potter was not the sort of man who cried.

"Even though you broke it off with her, Prongs?" Sirius couldn't help, but to ask. "You've never been this way around the ladies before. Why now? You've never cared about any of them, once you got a good shag, that is. Why the change of heart now? What is so special about our red haired terror?" Sirius was up in James' face now, resulting in James standing to meet the challenge and a flicker of anger to cross his face, get caught at the edges of his eyes and his lips, and hardening those features.

"Because I love her, Padfoot. I love her. I love her so much, I asked her to marry me…and she hesitated," James announced before slumping to the ground again, his face contorted and full of remorse. "It frightened me that she faltered and I broke it off with her."

* * *

Upon reaching Lily's "other" room, Victoria immediately locked the door behind her. As she turned back around to face Lily, she found her dear friend crumpled up on the floor, having not made it to the bed yet.

"Oh love," Victoria muttered, walking over to help Lily onto her bed with a heavy sigh.

"I didn't want to see him," she whispered as she crawled onto her hands and knees before hoisting herself up onto the bed. "I really did not want to, Tori." Her voice was shaky and full of despair.

"Love, you need to tell me what happened exactly between the two of you…Just so I don't end up decapitating him by accident." Victoria tried to put some humor in her statement to lighten the mood, but just could not sugar coat the malice in her voice.

Lily shook her head vigorously. "No! I can't, Tory!" A sob ripped from her throat. "It would be like reliving it…like I have all afternoon. I can't…not yet…not again. I just can't." Flopping herself down onto the pillows on her bed, Lily covered her face with one and continued her sobbing.

Feeling as if she had brought on this new onslaught of tears, Victoria laid down beside Lily on the bed and rested her head on the pillow that wasn't growing damp. Lifting her hand to Lily's back, she started rubbing it for her, hoping it was at least a tad bit comforting. The two of them stayed that way for several minutes; Lily's shoulders eventually stopped shaking from her weeping and her breathing seemed to even out, which indicated to Victoria that Lily had finally fallen asleep.

Looking over at the clock, trying to move as little as possible to limit the chances of waking her friend, it read 2:39 A.M., and Victoria groaned. She may love her friend like the sister that was never present, or even born, in her life, but right then Victoria felt like she could just slap Lily for being so resilient. Deciding against this course of action, Victoria closed her eyes as well and rolled onto her side that faced away from Lily and prayed to fall asleep and salvage what was left of the time allotted for shut eye. It seemed like forever had gone by before her body started to drift off, but right on the brink of sleep came a voice.

"He asked me to go with him to Hogsmeade, so I did." The voice was delicate and dreamy, like that of someone stuck reminiscing. "We drank two Fire whiskeys and were half blasted before moving on to Honeydukes, and going off to buy new schools supplies." Listening intently to the voice, she knew sleep wasn't going to win out just yet. "Then he took me to that flower shop, the one with all the pretty fish in the window. He went up to the counter and spoke quietly with the proprietor of the shop. She smiled at James and handed him a tulip, it had to have been the most beautiful tulip I have seen in a long time, from the display in the glass counter. He grinning over at me for a moment and he placed something in the flower that I couldn't see at first."

Getting a sense of where this was headed, Victoria sucked in a breath.

"James waltzed back over towards me with that swagger of his that always gives it away when he is anxious about something, he over compensates to try and cover up the nerves." Her voice cracked. "He asked me if I loved him, and I told him I did. He got down," Victoria sucked the breath back even further, "on one knee and declared his love for me in the way that I had told him in Divination when we had to hypnotize our partners was the way I wanted a man to start his proposal to me."

Victoria sat up and watched Lily's expression carefully, tears brimming in her own eyes, as she waited for the rest of the account.

"I was stunned. I didn't know what to say…" Obviously still at a loss for words, Lily paused once again, thinking over her story and just how to word it. "He started to get worried, you could see it on his face and his eyes. Before I could ask him for more time to think it over or to even accept his offer, he stood up and pulled a ring out of the tulip, pocketed it, and threw the flower to the floor. 'Don't you dare come near me anymore, Lily, if we don't have a future.'" She seemed to have more to say and wanted to say but was rendered incapable of doing so by the almost violent sob that escaped her throat after she had spoken.

Quickly wrapping her arms around her friend, Victoria joined Lily in the show of sorrow. 'How could James have been so stupid?' She asked herself through the shedding of tears in the name of her friend. 'How did I let this happen to her? I knew all about his plan to propose and I could have prepared her…This is my fault.'

* * *

By the time Lily awoke from the deep slumber that had finally overtaken her while in Victoria's arms, she had missed breakfast and all of her morning classes. The last class of the day was only just beginning, but once she could make herself presentable and actually make it down to the dungeons, she would have missed the entire lesson and gotten in a short workout in the rush to Potions. Standing, still in her apparel from the night before, Lily stretched her arms over her head and let out a deep yawn. Sighing after this normal morning routine, Lily made her way out to the Common Room with which she shared with James, her fellow student head.

Looking around the room with her eyes for any immediate signs of items belonging to her that might have been left out, she came up short. Groaning as she forced her stiff legs to move forward into the room, she spotted Victoria curled up on the floor in the corner of the room with two beautifully designed windows adorning it. "Tory?" She called, unsure if the girl was sleeping or not.

The girl stirred a little, but did not respond passed that.

"Sorry," Lily whispered with a short giggle following after noticing that there was a text book in her hands; she had been trying to study, and there was a full spread of breakfast items on the large study table. "Thanks, Tory."

What had she done to deserve a friend like Victoria Smyth? Resolving to wait until her friend woke before eating, Lily went to the communal lavatory she shared with James. Closing the door behind her, she picked up his tooth brush and tooth paste, the brand his mum bought him to help keep his teeth strong in the hopes of not chipping or losing any while playing Quidditch. That was when her signature temper flared as her thoughts went back to the ring James had pulled from the flower in his haste to get away from her and the hurt and confusion; it had belonged to her own mum. How long had he been planning this? The last time, and only time, she had taken James to her parent's home was four months ago during the Christmas holiday…

'Maybe he owled for it…But, Dad would never go for that. He would want James to ask him for the right to my hand and the ring in person.'

Her anger flared at the objects in her hands and she threw them across the lavatory. Reaching for any items close to her, any of his, she found a comb, and threw it towards the large bath tub. 'Can't have used that too often.' Upon making contact with the wall and one of the protruding facets, she found another item and another item and threw them in the other direction.

Lily slammed the door shut and locked it with the crude metal device that had been placed on its handle. Now she had moved on to wrenching drawers out of their holdings in the counter and tossed them down violently on the stone floor. Searching for things belonging to James, Lily didn't come up short—a hair brush, a razor, and several pairs of socks. "Why are these here, you prick?" Taking a pair of scissors from the floor that she had used to cut her own hair on previous occasions, Lily stabbed several of the socks before cutting up the rest and used her fingers to tear the holes from her stabbings even wider. Throwing them down on the floor, Lily screamed: "Why?"

In the Common Room, Victoria stirred at the muffled sounds from the lavatory "Ugh…leave me alone," she grumbled from her spot on the floor.

"I hate you!" Lily screeched vehemently. Objects were strewn all over the lavatory by then. Letting her anger peak once more, she ripped all of his flyers, notes-to-self and calendar off of the lavatory wall and let them fall to the floor. She wasn't motivated enough by her frustration towards him to take up the scissors once more, so she let them be in their new places on the floor.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as the bottled up pain continuously spilled over the rim after the container blew its lid. Clenching her fists tightly at her sides, she paused and glanced around the room at all the destruction she had caused, her feelings of malice beginning to dissipate. Turning to the wash basin, she turned the knob to release water onto her hands, savoring the cool calm that was washing over her after splashing some of the water onto her face. Stopping the flow of water, Lily tilted her head towards the mirror, recoiling at her reflection. There was actual pain present in her eyes. That had never happened to her before, at least not that she was aware of. Her face was flushed and her eyes were nearly bloodshot. Her hair was disheveled, more so than normal after waking up…She had never managed to be that upset about anything prior to this occasion.

Turning the water flow back on, Lily caught sight of her reflections once again and withdrew from the sink until her back hit the wall. Sinking to the floor, Lily used the wall as a brace to prevent falling to the ground before she had slid the rest of the way down to the stones. Hugging her legs to her chest, the silent tears flooded down Lily's cheeks.

Memories began to take over her mind; memories of all the time she had spent with James. He had become her best friend, as well as her lover. That was one thing she was now regretting having done. That night had been beautiful, but if there had been even the slightest notion, at that time, they were not going to stay together she would have kept herself chaste. She would have kept it until a man who truly loved her came around. But, no, she had been foolish enough to think that James would be the Hogwarts sweetheart that stuck around until they died of old age. It was depressing, but true. James was not there for her now. She would have to remember to ask for a new Transfiguration partner…James would obviously be doing the same.

Tears continued to roll down her fair cheeks. 'How did it come to this? I was just so surprised…I didn't even get to say anything. If he would have just given me a chance!' The stones around her felt wet now and her shirt was in the beginning stages of saturation, but Lily wasn't exactly acknowledging this. She wrinkled her nose as a new onslaught of tears coursed down her face.

"He didn't let me explain…" Hiccupping once in the middle of her sobbing, Lily continued on in hysterics that were undecipherable.

It was only ten minutes until she was reduced to nothing except a wet red blob of sniffling and reflecting on how happy she had once been. She wasn't aware of the Portrait Hole admitting someone into the Common Room nor was she aware of the shuffling going on as her friend scrambled to her feet. The first few pounds on the door to the lavatory went unnoticed. The fourth and fifth started to perk her up and Lily was vaguely aware of her feet and then her bum growing wet and of someone screaming to be let into the room as she turned her gaze back to the wall across from her.

Sniffling once more as the door burst open, Lily snapped her head towards the two people now entering—James and Victoria.

"Lily, what do you think you are doing? …Are you alright?" Victoria looked about the room and deduced what had happened. Before the thought struck her to stop James from going to Lily, the jerk already had.

"Lily!" James sank to his knees in front of her wanting desperately to take her in his arms.

"I really don't think…" Victoria started, but gave up after realizing she wasn't being listened to. Lily could fend for herself for the moment. Walking briskly to the sink, she turned off the water flow and waited as the sink drained itself rather noisily. 'This will give him a moment to say something to her that I won't overhear,' Victoria thought as the water swirled around the basin.

Recognition filled her eyes as James called her name. Her eyes darted to his arms that were flexing and relaxing every few seconds from fighting the urge to embrace her. Tears came to her eyes just before she flung herself into his hesitant embrace. "Why do you hate me now?" She begged to know through her returning hysterics.

"Lily! Lily, I love you! That hasn't changed," James explained emphatically as he held her. "I don't know just what was going through my head to make me doubt you, and it will never happen again! You just need to have faith in me. I'm not as strong as I seem…"

Looking up into his eyes, Lily noted that he was near tears and began to sober up. As she became calmer, she looked around the lavatory and took in all of the devastation. "I did this…Oh Merlin, James, it can all be fixed. Don't worry about your things." Sitting up straight, Lily wriggled herself out of his arms and continued. "I didn't put down any charms…Where is my wand?" Her voice had turned frantic at the absence of her wand. If she had lost her wand she wouldn't be able to do any Charms work, Transfiguration, or many other things for a long time…nor would she have the money to purchase a replacement wand. Her family didn't have the kind of money it would take to purchase a new one. What would she even tell her parents? Oh, I'm sorry, mum, but I lost my wand. Can we buy me a new one? It will only be a few…maybe twenty, galleons.

"It's here, Lily." Victoria called from the Common Room. A few moments later, she was back in the room. "It was still on your bedside table, love. You know, where I put it last night for you." Her teasing was meant to lessen the tension in the room, but Victoria had a sneaking suspicion it hadn't worked.

"Right," Lily replied while working on standing up. She dusted off her skirt before taking her wand from her worried best friend.

Watching her all the while, James followed suit and stood, not bothering to smooth out his robes. "Are you okay, Lily?" His voice was more cautious than sympathetic, as if he was worried that he would set her off like he had many times in the past.

"I am perfectly fine, Potter. You can go now. I'll right everything that I made a mess of," Lily responded snidely. She wanted to slap him, hit him, curse him, jinx him, but as Head Girl she would get into quite a bit of trouble for doing that. "Leave!"

"Who does he think he is?" Lily screeched as James hastily left the room, per the girl he loved insistence.

"Lily, he was probably hoping to show you he was sorry," Victoria tried to point out.

"I couldn't care less! He treated me like those bloody prostitutes he used to run to. He obviously has no idea who I am or he would have thought twice before acting like he did…" Plots were beginning to take form in her mind revolving around vengeance and malice.

"Lily, sweetheart, you need to listen. Try to listen…and actually hear what I say." Victoria began calmly. "James loves you. He loves you. Everyone makes mistakes, and yes the errors in judgment he made were severe, but…Lily, you aren't doing as I asked, are you?" She interrupted herself after seeing the blank stare she was being given.

"Hmm? What? Oh. No, probably not," Lily replied as she slunk out of the lavatory that looked akin to an isolated explosion had taken place inside, suddenly not feeling the need to correct James' possessions. "He can end up with the dementors of Azkaban for all I care," Lily muttered under her breath while making her way to the table where all the food had been placed. "If he wants a war with me, he'll get one."

What Lily did not know was that Mr. Potter had no intention of battling with her or even to make her angry, though that was the result of what had transpired.

Instead, the Potter boy was perched on the stairs outside of the Library debating whether he should go inside and find Remus and beg for advice or if he should just leave and just hope that Lily would come around before it is was too late to salvage their relationship. Choosing the latter in an attempt to save what of his pride was left, James turned and walked back down the stairs, away from the option that would have found him on his knees with clasped hands up in the air while he plead for any assistance Moony would be willing to impart. Not paying attention to the location of the trick stairs and the two students in front of him who had already fallen victim to its trap, James fell hard on the last stair and skidded to a halt on the floor, scuffing up his newly polished shoes and tore a hole in the back of his trousers, right under his buttocks.

"Bloody Merlin!" He yelped, more in surprise than in anger or pain. Feeling a rush of air on the back of his leg, he placed two fingers there that took on the duty of probing about to discover the cause. "These are my favorite trousers!" James yelled upward to the heavens. Removing his fingers and getting to his feet, the only thoughts invading his mind were of deism. There was a god out there that was either having a great laugh from watching James' horrible day or was sincerely unsettled with him and felt this great need to punish him for his wrong doings. The second seemed more plausible as he took into account all the awful things that were taking place as of late in his life. Balling his right hand into a fist, James side stepped towards the wall and hit it with all the force and anger he could muster, not considering the consequences that came as a package deal from hitting a wall with one's fist.

The bones crunched. At first, James did not grasp what had happened to his hand…and then the pain came. His whole arm began to convulse as the pain shot up it in quick intervals. "AH!" He yelped again. "This is my life," he muttered through clenched teeth as if it was the only explanation to be had.

Bringing his, now, broken hand to his chest and holding it there gingerly, James started the trek back up the stairs to the fourth floor Hospital Wing to have it examined and mended.

Halfway or so up the second flight of stairs, a younger student bumped into him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about that," the student apologized quickly.

"Get out of my way," James barked at him. "And watch where you are going!" He snapped, his voice filled with venom.

"Merlin, I'm sorry! It was purely by accid…" The student started, but was cut off by the Head Boy.

"Why are you still here and talking to me? Get. Out. Of. My. Way!" He yelled, enunciating each word so there was no excuse for the student to not understand. Pushing passed him, James was still fuming. _'What was that about, ol' boy? You are Head Boy, for Merlin's sake! You can't talk to the students like you did before you finally landed Lily. Just calm down,"_ James thought to himself as he tried to unravel his intentions. It was almost like that tale about the shoulder angel and devil, but only one had shown up.

Upon reaching the Hospital Wing, James heard a yelp of pain and an irritated expression of anguish. Walking inside the room to discover who had made the sound, his eyes rested on Severus Snape and the Nurse—who was wrestling a large piece of glass from his arm.

"What are you staring at, Potter?" Severus snapped once he noticed the new occupant of the room. "Never seen your enemy injured before? Funny, I can think of quite a multitude of times when you have and were the cause," Severus sneered at him, his face red, whether from anger or pain, James could quite deduce.

Ignoring the Slytherin, James sat on the bed three down from where Severus and the Nurse were. "When you get a chance, won't you come over here, Madam Pomphrey, and take a look at my hand? I may have broken it." He was trying to come across as the nice, perfect child who had, by some misfortune, been injured. Of course he was not that child, and was well aware of that fact, but if he could use enough charm on her she might abandon, or set aside momentarily, her project with Snivelous and help him first. To his dismay, it did not work out quite as he planned…or at all.

"Potter! If your head wasn't so far up your derriere, you would notice that you are not the only one hurt here, nor are you the most desperately injured by a wide margin!" She barked at him, eliciting a wince from James.

"I'm sorry. Merlin!" James exclaimed as he laid himself out on the hospital bed. His plan hadn't worked and he was now forced to just sit there and wallow in his own pity, drowning in the thoughts that sought to take his last breath by the pain of whence they came from. _'Oh well, it's not like I don't know how to manage pain…Stupid Quidditch accidents,'_ he thought, trying to keep all of the other thoughts from plaguing him once more in their stinging repetition.

Hearing a cry emit from Snape put a perverse smile on James' face. It wasn't like he was going to die or anything, so why not take some joy out of the occasion? Running the risk of being thoroughly disgusted, James glanced over to see what had caused the Slytherin such pain. On the cart beside Snape laid the large piece of glass that had been lodged in his arm in all its bloody glory. Looking away as his stomach started to seize, James wasn't taking as much pleasure from Snape's pain as he had previously. In a way, James felt sorry for him.

Closing his eyes, James forced himself to focus on the clacks from the nurse's shoes as they began to fade away, indicating that she was leaving the vicinity.

"I will be with you shortly, Potter," the nurse hissed at him in an unforgiving manner.

Not bothering to respond, James rolled onto his side so that he was facing the student that had been the butt of a large portion of the Marauder's pranks. "How did you hurt yourself?" He was trying to be civil in order to slake his curiosity.

Jerking his head towards James with a resentful sneer, Severus let his glare bore into his enemy before giving him the satisfaction of an answer. "Peeves. I hit one of the damn trick stairs right after he made a window shatter. I landed on the glass. It feels much like that mishap in Herbology when you so unceremoniously pushed me into the cacti patch." His voice was filled with the venom that James' had carried and spewed on that student not twenty minutes ago. He now knew how that student felt. Severus had quite obviously not enjoyed that day as much as James and Sirius had. It probably had been quite painful and a tedious process to reverse, but he hadn't really cared. It was a source of great amusement, and for a period of his life, that was all James had cared about having.

"Oh. Nasty little bugger, that bloody bastard, isn't he?" James replied, trying to act as if Severus hadn't added the last part about the cacti.

Giving in and trying to make a polite conversation himself, Severus dropped the anger from his tone. "That he is. He really needs to move on, if you know what I mean. But, then all the poor 1st years wouldn't have water poured on their heads before the Sorting. It's almost worth it to put up with him," he commented.

Before James could reply, Victoria tore into the room. "James! You need to stop being stupid! Go find Lily! You have no idea the things she is contemplating going through with all because she doesn't know what she had done wrong!"

Glaring, James responded angrily. "I don't know what she wants from me! I comforted her during her breakdown, I let her cry on my shoulder, I told her I was sorry and I almost cried myself! What else is there that I could have done? Nothing!" He hadn't meant to yell at her and immediately apologized for it. "That was uncalled for…I'm sorry."

Nodding, Victoria accepted his apology. She knew he was under a lot of stress from Lily and should not be held responsible for his words.

"How did you know that I was up here?" James added, not noticing Snape slink out of the room after over hearing the part with Lily in it—he only part that he cared about.

"Oh, I didn't. I was coming up to get something to help Lily calm down and get back to sleep. She was tossing and turning and didn't get much rest last night, and neither did you if I remember correctly."

Nodding, James recalled the chaos from the night before. He felt his stomach drop as he saw Lily's face in all its distress and disarray once more. He'd really hurt her, hadn't he? Oh Merlin. "I need to find Lily and now," James insisted as Victoria started to walk away.

"Good, but you are getting that hand fixed first." She pointed to the injured appendage and the manner in which he was holding it. "I assume that is why you are here. I mean, its swelling up and you are keeping it close to your heart and…"

"Yes, that is why I am here!" He interrupted her rudely, losing his temper again.

* * *

A big grin covered his face as he returned to the Hospital Wing, as he had not actually been cleared to leave yet. Normally, he wouldn't care, but now he had an idea of how to throw something in that nasty Potter's face. He may not have actually spoken with Lily or have done any of the things he was about to claim had transpired, but James wouldn't know the difference between what was fiction and reality. The big oaf would be far too proud to ask Lily the truth on that subject.

Entering the Hospital Wing again, Severus scanned the area for James so he could begin his scam.

"I'll be right back, James. I'm going to try to get that stuff for Lily. The Nurse might bite my head off if I'm not careful," sounded a happy flowing-like voice. He knew this voice very well. It always seemed to accompany Lily's, no matter where he could hear it bouncing off of the walls.

The shuffling of feet faded away and Severus took it as his cue to move forward.

"Potter," he muttered while entering the room, his proud grin echoing off each cheek on his face.

"You snuck out? When? I didn't even realize that you had left…odd." James narrowed his eyes and turned his gaze down towards his lap as he appeared to be trying to figure out when Snape had left.

"Yes, well I couldn't help but over hear what the girl was saying about our mutual friend, so I left in search of her. To my surprise, when I found her in the Library, she asked if I would like to go with her to Hogsmeade." He closed his mouth so that his grin could shine through. "Quite amazing, isn't it? I merely sought her out with every intention of drying her eyes and then this. She and I will have a glorious time, no?"

Narrowing his eyes in disbelief, James turned to prosecute him, "You lie!" He stated bluntly.

"Not at all," came Severus' snippy reply. "You can inquire from your lovely ex-girlfriend, if you wish. I'll allow that brief interaction. You know, it is amazing what can happen in a year…I knew she would eventually forgive me," he added slyly, unable to believe just how predictably James was reacting. Smiling as innocently as he could, Severus continued. "Did she like the way you mussed your hair? Maybe I'll have to have you show me how to do that…" Interrupted by a flash of light colliding with the side of his face, Severus frowned and placed his hand on his cheekbone momentarily and felt the slow trickle of a warm liquid attempting to escape from the barrier his hand had created there.

"Don't think you can insult my mate, throw salt in the wound, and then dance around on top of it. First of all, because he isn't big enough for you to dance on top of, and secondly, because I won't let you."

Severus's head snapped towards the location of the voice and found an advancing Sirius Black almost upon him.

"I learned that hex from you, Snivelly," Sirius breathed onto his Severus' face, standing so closely to him that only a sliver of light could be seen between them. Puffing out his chest, Sirius managed to force Severus back a step. "You will leave his girl alone, regardless of your silly friendship with her. She will think that she has done something wrong, because you won't even look in her direction, if you actually did reconcile with Evans."

Unintentionally, Severus quivered, adding more fuel to the opposing boy's fire. Sirius then pulled his wand out and muttered a quick "stupefy," not leaving Severus with a chance to react. He fell hard onto the floor, but with a smile as the last thought that was crossing his mind was of the damage he had already done to James' ego, though he was not fully comprehending the painful repercussions his beloved Lily would suffer…

"Let's go, Prongs. Remus can heal whatever you've injured," Sirius offered, holding out his hand to assist his pseudo brother if needed.

"Yeah, I guess," James grumbled, not in the best of moods anymore. Refusing his hand, James hopped off of the bed to follow his best mate out of the Hospital Wing.

"Wait! Are you leaving without me?" Asked a bewildered Victoria who had just reentered the room.

"Oh, sorry. I'm not going to do it anymore…I don't associate with those who keep the company of the likes of him," James asserted, gesturing over to the Slytherin stiff on the floor, and left, not wanting to go into any further detail.

The two boys walked down the stairs in silence for most of the way before James made the effort to thank the boy beside him.

"No worries, mate. I owe you for a lot more, so let's just knock one notch off for that…I'm sorry about Lily, mate. She'll come around. She might have to shag him once or twice, maybe some do some really kinky shit, before she figures out how disgusting the feeling of grease between her thighs is, but she'll come around." Stopping himself, Sirius cringed at the image he had just created.

Exhaling sharply, James felt a sudden throbbing pain in his chest. "I was her first. She was going to wait until marriage, but said she didn't want to wait because she knew she loved me…and I was so close to being her first marriage…only marriage…" Groaning, James discontinued his rant and reached into his pocket for the Map. Pulling it out and unrolling it, James muttered irritatedly. "Remus better be close by." His snarl as these words exited his mouth was deafening.

"What did you do anyway, you clumsy fool?" Sirius asked jokingly, trying to lift some of the tension that was building.

Lifting his, now, bruised and swollen hand, James felt no real words were needed to explain just where he was hurting.

"Bloody hell, mate!" Sirius exclaimed as he grabbed James' hand to examine it himself.

Crying out in pain as Sirius snatched his hand, James dropped the Map. "What the bleeding hell, mate!" James yelled, wrenching his hand out of Sirius' rough grip. Kicking Sirius in the shin, James narrowed his eyes at him. "No," he stated childishly and held his hand against his torso. "No," he repeated, sticking his tongue out at him.

Sirius raised an eyebrow in confusion. "No? I think not." Reaching for James' hand again, Sirius started to run in the opposite direction, still holding onto James' wounded appendage.

"Padfoot! Release me at once, you soddy git!" James demanded as he followed, frightened that the struggle to regain his hand would result in more pain than he was currently experiencing.

"Nope. I don't think that I shall," Sirius grinned cheekily as he continued on.

Finally arriving in the Gryffindor Common Room, after much yelling and swearing, Sirius tugged James up the Boys' Dormitory stairs, ignoring comments from the other students about the pair holding hands, being in love, and all the others that were doubtlessly being thrown around by the daft underclassmen. Sirius threw the door open to his dorm, causing Remus to jump in surprise and his text book to fall to the floor.

"What in…." Remus started, but came to a halt as their mutual friend was forced into the room and released in front of Remus' bed. "What on earth did you do to him, you prick?" Remus questioned Sirius calmly, though he found it quite humorous when combined with his diction, as he was fairly certain that it was his fault for the obviously broken bone in James' hand.

Grinning, Sirius replied: "I took his hand and gave it a good squeeze." His tone was even, as if he was implying that he had actually done this. "Should be a clean break, though. It had a solid sound to it. A nice pop, really."

Shuddering, Remus slugged him in the shoulder. "You'll shut your mouth now, won't you?" He asked in a condescending tone. "Let me take care of his hand, as you obviously don't want him to be seen in the Hospital Wing or he wouldn't be here," Remus added tersely, the amusement having fled from his voice.

Examining his friend's hand and watching Sirius walk towards the bed from out of the corner of his eye, Remus easily found the problem. "You've shattered your index finger's primary knuckle and your middle' primary knuckle. What, did you hit the wall or something?" He asked, not realizing how close to the truth he really was. Pulling his wand out of his back pocket, Remus tapped the first knuckle twice and whispered "episkey." Repeating the act on the second injury, the swelling had already gone down considerably. "It probably won't be completely gone for a few more hours and the pain will still be there in the morning, but it should be fine." With a disgruntled nod from James, Remus released his friend's hand back to him.

Flexing it once, James grinned down at his friend gratefully.

"Thanks, Moony. I don't think I could repay you for this."

* * *

**Thank you all for reading this! Marry Me, I Beg You has been going on for quite some time, but not consistently. If you can't tell, it took about a three year break in the middle. I decided that when I was first writing this I was too young and had a sort of silly notion regarding where I was going with it that would only earn me poor reviews and contempt from readers. I have put in quite a bit of time rewriting this, reworking it to fit where I want to take it.**

**So, thank you to all of those who are reading this that had first read it way back when it began! I am going to be updating as often as I can, and when I get a few chapters in, I will try to set up a more specific time frame for you all to expect an update during.**

**I am on the hunt for a beta, possibly two. I do beta work myself, but I find it incredibly difficult to give my own pieces that sort of critical eye as I am incredibly biased towards my stuff. If anyone is willing to give me a hand, let me know in a review or send me a pm, please.**

**I also have a one shot that I did during Spring Break that I would love you all if you read and reviewed it.**

**I cannot stress this enough; read and review! I crave feedback, even if it is just a 'well done' or a 'nice try.' All I want to know is what you thought of it, so please tell me. To all of you who have previously reviewed the first chapter and are unable to review it again, I would love a pm from you all with your thoughts on the chapter.  
**

**-Blair .the .adorable**


	2. Chapter 2 Nothing Is Gained By Sitting

**2. Nothing Is Gained By Sitting Back While Others Do**

_"Mistakes are a part of being human. Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."_

_-Al Franken_

* * *

This was a problem. No, this was a monstrous fiasco. Lily and James, the dream couple, had broken up. What did that mean to the world if a couple that fit together as well as James and Lily could split?

With his hands in his trouser pockets, Remus Lupin walked alone through the corridors of the school, He had needed a moment to think, a little time just for Remus. James was distraught still, acting irrationally and willingly taking his frustration out on his own body, as was made evident by the broken hand Remus had mended. This could not be allowed to continue or someone was going to get hurt…perhaps even a lot of someones.

"This is mad," Remus muttered, glancing around to see if anyone might have heard him. No one. Still no one. The hour would not warrant anyone being out of bed, yet that did not always mean someone was not breaking the rules by being out of bed and in the corridors after hours. Remus doubted that Lily or James would be performing their rounds that night, so the chances of being caught by them, or by a prefect whom Remus doubted would be doing rounds on James and Lily's usual patrol night, was low.

The lack of noise, aside from that which was being made by his own shoes as they came into contact with the stone flooring and the sound of his trousers as they rubbed together, was rather eerie. With a groan, Remus made the turn around the corner into the final corridor for the night before he returned to his dorm room for some much needed rest. It was difficult to sleep in the midst of emotional turmoil. While it wasn't his girl that had been lost, he still felt directly involved in all of this.

It was bizarre how someone could be removed from a problem and still be emotionally affected by the drama. The Marauders were in desperate need of a plan, something they were never caught without, even if it meant making one up on the spot and praying their brothers were on the same wave length. The problem was that James was emotionally incapacitated, leaving the team with one head, one who thought with his other head, and one with an arguably empty head who followed plans, not made them. What made it even harder was that James was attempting to be involved in the planning, which was throwing the plans way out of whack. At one point, Prongs had suggested Remus take Lily on a date or two and get close enough to find out how Lily was actually feeling, rather than this tough and volatile exterior she was using as her shield over the last two days. Sunday and Monday had been difficult to swallow, what with Lily's talking to any and every young man in their year.

The ginger girl was angry and in pain, much like a wounded animal and was lashing out at James as such. Lily and the animal had one more thing in common when in such a situation: they were frightened. Remus could see it in her eyes when she smiled. Her mouth may give off the impression that she was enjoying whatever conversation she was engaged in, but her eyes failed to take part in any shows of happiness. It broke his heart to see that pain, but not nearly as much as it hurt him to see one of his own brothers in such emotional pain. How was one to pick between the one girl he had ever claimed to be friends with, and had a crush on during their double term as prefects together, and a best mate whom one owed their life to for everything he had done to help? The choice may seem unfair, but to examine the pros and cons of each side of this cleared the playing field until it was crystal: Remus Lupin's allegiance belonged with James and the Marauders.

Victoria's plan of having James try and talk some sense into Lily had crashed and burned, setting them back even further than they already had been. From what he had been made aware of a few hours after the fact, Remus could not believe they, Victoria and James had even given it a shot, after the description of the event in the bathroom. Lily had refused to see James or speak to him, threatening to talk to Professor McGonagall if the harassment were to persist. Victoria had been so certain that Lily would listen, now that she'd had some time to calm down and regain her bearings on the situation. The failure of this plan unfortunately discredited the girl in James' eyes, and he had proceeded to refuse to even acknowledge her presence after being subjected to another round of humiliation and pain. Everything had to be ruined, didn't it?

…Perhaps James' idea was not without merit? If someone were to get close enough to Lily in order to decipher how bad the damage was there might be a chance to mend the tear in her heart and place it back with its own true match. Once information had been gathered, it would require processing and analysis before the data could be utilized for anything…and James was going to need even more maturing than he had already done in order to date Lily.

Having finished his rounds, Remus had worked his way back up to Gryffindor tower. "Flobberworm jelly," he announced to the portrait of The Fat Lady. She gave him a look of scrutiny, as if she were trying to decide why he was out this late before she sighed and swung open to grant him entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room. Making his way to the Boys' Dormitory and on up to his room, Remus was not surprised to find James holed up in there with Sirius and Peter.

"Hey, where ya been, Moony?" Sirius called from his four poster bed, upon which both he and James were seated.

"I was taking care of something. Didn't want it not to be done and someone get into trouble for it," Remus replied, kicking off his shoes and taking a seat on the end of his bed. "Anyway, I was thinking; someone is going to have to talk to Lily. I know that every attempt has been thwarted thus far, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try again."

Peter perked up upon hearing a new conversation beginning and forced himself into an upright seating position on his own bed. "Do you have any ideas?" He asked softly, hoping to get in on this from the ground floor.

"It's still forming in my head, really. But," Remus added quickly before anyone could interject, "For any of this to work, mates, Prongs is going to have to man up some."

"What do you mean?" James snapped. After everything that had gone on the last few days, his own friends were attacking him? Where was Remus' sense of loyalty?

"Honestly? She hesitated and you flipped your lid. You did not give her a chance to explain, nothing. Just stormed out because you thought you might not get what you want," Remus pointed out, refusing to back down to James and his self-righteous temper. "Lily has told you time and time again to grow up and put on your big boy shoes. She probably thought you had and agreed to date you because of that. Now you have gone and made her look and feel like an idiot by proving her wrong and throwing it in her face."

* * *

Initially, Lily had been immersed in her anger. It had been nearly overwhelming, if she was honest with herself. Now that two days had gone by since her complete breakdown in the bathroom, Lily was worn out. It took a lot out of a person, being angry. She had gone a step further now and, instead of angry, was sad. She just hurt all over, though she was certain it was psychological and emotional, rather than physical.

Lying sprawled out on her bed in the Head's dorms, Lily sighed. She missed James, she really did. But, she did not think that he understood quite how much she had been hurt by his actions. He had been selfish and acted like a child when she hadn't given him an immediate response. Lily's gut told her to take the 'I did nothing wrong route,' but she couldn't. Not if she didn't want to feel like a dirty liar.

James had no reason to assume she wouldn't say yes if he asked…when he asked. They were in love with each other. They had made love to one another. They had even discussed their future together. Four children, a six bedroom house, a backyard with a tree their children could climb, a tree house and a play house, depending on whether they had little girls. Lily wanted that future, craved it even.

That future might be possible even still. Lily hadn't given up hope just yet. Well, she had, but that was temporary. Once she had regained the ability to think clearly, Lily had begun taking stock of everything that had transpired. James had apologized. Not all was lost. But, Lily needed him to understand the pain that resulted from all of this…and the small speck of anger in the back of her mind wanted the heir to the Potter fortune to fully comprehend the full spectrum of emotion she'd spun through by personally experiencing it.

Rolling around in her blanket, she had completely cocooned herself in the quilt her mother had made for her just before starting her final year at Hogwarts. Lily sighed as she realized being engulfed in the warm blanket had nothing on James' loving embrace. They had broken the rules on several occasions by spending the night together talking, cuddling, loving each other's company while in the safety and warmth of either her bed or his.

Lily groaned, twisting and kicking until she was free of her multi-fabriced captor. Rolling off of her bed, she caught herself just before she would have come into contact with the floor. She padded softly in her bare feet to their shared lavatory and opened the door. James had not been back since she had turned the room into a disaster area. The Minister of Magic would have declared a state of emergency in there if he'd seen it…Everything had been repaired just as had she promised James it would be. But, her temper had still gotten the better of her and the proper manners Elise Evans had spent the better part of her children's' lives instilling in her daughters. Running back to her desk, Lily scrawled a note on a spare bit of parchment. Returning to the bathroom, she creased the center of the parchment and placed it on the countertop.

_I'm sorry about all of this._

_ Lily_

* * *

Thank you for the reviews! Even the one that was from someone who wasn't so keen on what I was doing, and the person who thought that this was a one shot that I'd messed up on, were much appreciated. I don't want everyone to like this story. If I was trying to please everyone, then this would have no substance. And then no one would like this, huh?

I do apologize for the shortness of this chapter. There was so much I wanted to do, so much I needed to begin building up that by the time I had included most of it in here, the chapter was incredibly convoluted. I weeded out as much of the problems as I could figure out how to do without destroying the chapter even further and building up things prematurely. See, this is why I need a beta.

Anyways, the inquires about a beta! I need one still. I'm looking for someone to do punctuation and grammar overhauls on my chapters, but I will also need someone who can help me develop my story. I am all for having more than one beta, or pre-reader. Whatever you would like to be called. I would appreciate any help that I can get. I've done work on several other people's stories, but I have a hard time viewing my own objectively. I'm sure you can understand. Please help!

Blair .the .Adorable


	3. Preview

((This is just a preview of Chapter 3! I am hoping to prove to you that I am working on this chapter finally. This last semester kicked my bahookie hardcore and all I've managed to do was outline this chapter and sketch out a few ideas for it. So, here is a little teaser, and be on the look out this next week. You can trust me, this time. This is also the only time I am vouching for you guys trusting me, by the way. As anyone who used to follow this story could tell you, I am horrible at updating during the semester.))

Chapter 3

Standing outside of the Library, Remus set his bag down on the stone floor. It had only been three days since the last attempt James had made to speak with Lily. Even though the girl had claimed to be only threatening to report the repeated "harassment" to the Deputy Headmistress, a formal letter had been received by the Head Boy instructing James to refrain from contacting Lily Evans, unless it was for a group project from their joint classes or for their Head students duty. It was far less than ideal of a situation, given that James and Lily shared a common room, a bathroom, and their bedrooms were approximately seven feet apart.

Lily had begun this as an injured doe looking for any way to protect herself from further wounding. It was completely understandable for the girl to react like that. Who wouldn't want to protect their self? But it was going to a new level now. Lily was moving towards vengeful and angry…if she had not already reached that point, what with the incident in the bathroom. James and Lily were still assigned as partners in Potions, something that had yet to be rectified by Slughorn, despite his adoration of the nearly prodigal Muggle-born potioneer. During yesterday morning's double Potions' lesson, James' mind had apparently been elsewhere during the lecture and when suddenly asked a comprehensive question by the professor, James had frozen momentarily when an "answer" was whispered to him by his lovely ex-girlfriend. Without thinking, James regurgitated the word in response to Professor Slughorn and lost twenty points for the Gryffindor house for failure to pay attention and smart aleck answers. Upon further review, 'forty-two' was probably not the answer. Why was that so funny to her, anyway?


End file.
